Comments on: Is this good for a book? http://www.tonyrobbins-live.com/1144/is-this-good-for-a-book-2/ And what is your Biggest Challenge today? Be Healthy & Fit Again, Relive Your Relationship with True Love & Passion, Find Your True Talent & Dream Career, Become Financially Free, Rediscover Purpose for Living, Be Happy and Make the Most of the Gift Called Your Life Now! Wed, 28 Jul 2010 15:09:19 -0900 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.2 hourly 1 By: Obasi42 http://www.tonyrobbins-live.com/1144/is-this-good-for-a-book-2/comment-page-1/#comment-8202 Obasi42 Mon, 08 Mar 2010 18:10:59 +0000 http://www.tonyrobbins-live.com/1144/is-this-good-for-a-book-2/#comment-8202 This is pretty good. I wouldn't name it Dragon World. I think it should be more original, like Reberro or something like that. Other than that, it seems good. Oh, and a bazaar is a marketplace. Bizarre is the word you were looking for.<br><b>References : </b><br> This is pretty good. I wouldn’t name it Dragon World. I think it should be more original, like Reberro or something like that. Other than that, it seems good.

Oh, and a bazaar is a marketplace. Bizarre is the word you were looking for.
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]]> By: Genevieve http://www.tonyrobbins-live.com/1144/is-this-good-for-a-book-2/comment-page-1/#comment-8201 Genevieve Mon, 08 Mar 2010 17:56:59 +0000 http://www.tonyrobbins-live.com/1144/is-this-good-for-a-book-2/#comment-8201 There are a lot of sentence fragments, that's a bad thing. It sounds like a creative writing assignement, not a book. Try addung more detail, less action so soon, and more background. Good Luck!!!!!<br><b>References : </b><br> There are a lot of sentence fragments, that’s a bad thing.
It sounds like a creative writing assignement, not a book. Try addung more detail, less action so soon, and more background.
Good Luck!!!!!
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]]> By: Bert http://www.tonyrobbins-live.com/1144/is-this-good-for-a-book-2/comment-page-1/#comment-8200 Bert Mon, 08 Mar 2010 17:22:59 +0000 http://www.tonyrobbins-live.com/1144/is-this-good-for-a-book-2/#comment-8200 You don't have any worries that it is original, because it is. Some comments though: Ten thousand years ago is less than a wink when you are comparing it to light years. Bizarre is the spelling you want. I can't figure out what tense it is supposed to be in. Savior probably should be capitalized. Hope doesnt belong to the 17-year old. He is the hope. Too many commas in the sentence starting "Max is the only one....." Would read better as "Max is the only one that has the power of killing Theris and his followers, as well as being able to release the three dragons. When did Theris go from followers to "two followers?" Good luck<br><b>References : </b><br> You don’t have any worries that it is original, because it is. Some comments though: Ten thousand years ago is less than a wink when you are comparing it to light years. Bizarre is the spelling you want. I can’t figure out what tense it is supposed to be in. Savior probably should be capitalized. Hope doesnt belong to the 17-year old. He is the hope. Too many commas in the sentence starting "Max is the only one….." Would read better as "Max is the only one that has the power of killing Theris and his followers, as well as being able to release the three dragons. When did Theris go from followers to "two followers?" Good luck
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